LA Times Article Providing Enough Advertisements?

January 21, 2012 § 1 Comment

I was reading this article on the LA Times about Tim Tebow and his brief recruitment by USC.  I think recruitment stories are always interesting, though this one lacked sex and money.

What I found more interesting was the amount of advertisements that the LA Times managed to get on this one page, containing one article of about 350 words.  The page has nine advertisements and ten links to other articles.  That’s about 18 words per link.

That would be like me saying:

Cool Ranch Doritos are better than Nacho Cheese Doritos because they are not only tastier, but are cooler.

BUY STUFF, BUY STUFF, BUY STUFF, BUY STUFF, BUY STUFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I enjoy a lot of different flavors, but I can remember preferring Cool Ranch since I was very young.

YOU ARE SO OUT OF SHAPE!! GO TO THIS WEBSITE AND GET BULK!!!!

Lately, I’ve just been buying the Safeway brand chips because they are cheaper and taste just as good.

HEY GO OVER TO THIS PAGE AND READ ANOTHER ARTICLE ON SNACKS RIGHT NOW!!!!  

In the end, I’ll still eat Nacho Cheese when it’s available but when I have the option I’ll take Cool Ranch.

WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?!?!  GO TO DOMINO’S DUMMY, YOU’RE HUNGRY!!!!

Here’s a simple shot of the top of the page:

It’s hard to actually make out the article.  I understand that you have to sell ads in order to stay in business, but did you have to throw those “ADS BY GOOGLE” right between the second and third sentence?  I mean, Sam Farmer worked so hard on this article (Read: Sam Farmer spent 15 minutes on this article.) and you mess it up by actually having a ratio of four ads to two sentences.

THIS ARTICLE BEGINS WITH A 4:2 RATIO OF ADS:SENTENCES!

Now, why wouldn’t I put this in my “99 Problems” section?  Because I don’t really have a problem with it because why would anyone actually read or click on an ad?

Who seriously does that?

In this case though, for this study, I had to click the ads.  How about that link that promises either pictures of Bane in the new Dark Knight movie or illegal steroids?

FAIL!

No shocking pictures at all.  :(  It is an ad for a workout supplement called “Force Factor.”  Though I admit that the website provided additional amusement.

This is Brad

I like that Brad only worked on his very upper body.  Better though is how Force Factor helped Brad at the beach:

“It was incredible.  My girlfriend was amazed and at the beach her friends took notice as well.  I am now having sex with all of my girlfriend’s friends.  Thanks Force Factor!

BOTTOM LINE Yes, I would recommend this to any friend that wants to have sex with his girlfriends friends and family.”

Though my stomach would disagree with me, I will not be getting Force Factor.  I don’t even have a girlfriend in which to have sex with her friends so what’s the point?

The top of the page has this ad for “Comforts for Baby”

The link just takes you to their Facebook page, where so far 15,416 people have “Liked” it so far.  Except that I’ll be damned if I can find a single bit of information that tells me what “Comforts for Baby” actually is.

Is it for diapers?  Onesies?  A website?  If it’s a website, I’ll be so fucking confused as to why they didn’t link to their website instead of their Facebook page.

Sam Farmer ends his article by telling us about the LA Party Bus:

For only $75 (per Hour) the “RASTABUS” will take you and your idiot friends around L.A. to wherever you want to go.

Hang out with these dudes!

Here’s one testimonial:

“One day I desperately needed a ride to the airport but it was New Years and all of the cabs were busy and it was going to take three hours.  I found this place called “Rastabus” and they said that they were not busy at all.  I thought that was odd since it was New Years and it was a party bus, but I absolutely needed to get to the airport and I didn’t care if it cost $75.  They picked me up and these two douchey guys with dreadlocks came out to greet me and they said “Yo Brah, wassup?” and they told me to get into the bus for some “stellar tunes.”  That was three weeks ago.  Somebody please help me.  Call the police.  I don’t know where I am exactly located because the bus is always moving but there are a dozen of us in here and I don’t know what they plan to do with us.  Tell the cops to look for a green, red, and yellow bus with marijuana smoke coming out of it.  I’m scared and I just want to see my family again.  “Hey Brah, watcha doin?” Nothing, I’m not doing anything.  “How’d you get that phone, brah?”  I keep telling you I’m not your Brah.  I want to see my family.  “We’re your brah’s now brah.”  HELP!!!”

Compelling stuff.  I might need to call this Rastabus.

The last thing I want to talk about is, Holy Shit Did You Know There Are At Least 324 Ways To Share An Article Now?

More… (316)?!?!?!?

That’s a good thing though.  Now I’ll be able to send this links page to all of my friends.  I just hope they don’t get too distracted by the Tim Tebow stuff.

About these ads

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§ One Response to LA Times Article Providing Enough Advertisements?

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