The Honest Story of How I Lost 150 LBS: Part II – Kenny 1, Fat 1
January 27, 2012 § 8 Comments
Read part I, Growing Up Fat, if you haven’t already.
When we last left off, I had just found out that I officially weighed over 300 pounds and that was a serious blow to the heart of yours truly. (Much like the serious blows I had been giving my heart with Hungry Man TV dinners and Chocolate Peanut Butter ice cream.)
I mean, here is how I associate a person with 300 pounds:
It’s how much Homer had to weigh in order to get disability from work!!!
Now, as an adult that is obviously either an asinine number or Homer is 4 feet tall, because I work with guys that are easily pushing 350 and plenty of large guys and gals have employment and not disability, but as a kid you just associate 300 pounds with moo-moos and needing two seats to see Naked Lunch.
This finally gave me the motivation I needed to lose a dramatic amount of weight for the first time in my life. To not be a “fat kid” anymore.
That meant that I had to eat right and exercise for the first time in my life. I had really short spurts of exercise earlier, but I had never really done it for
an extensive amount of time more than a couple days and I had never watched what I ate. This would be a whole new experience but I was in it 100%.
Which sucks because I had just gone to the grocery story and packed the freezer with awesomeness.
I never touched those foods though while I was dieting. I found out that I actually have pretty good willpower when I set my mind to something like this. During this time, I didn’t eat fast food, drink soda, or eat candy. I was just eating right and exercising.
This would also set the stage for learning about how to exercise that would help me throughout my adult life.
I was working at a dealership and washing cars after school. It was the middle of my senior year and I was working a pretty decent schedule already: Go to school, go to work after school, work 10 hours on Saturday. For me at 18, that was a lot.
Now I added working out into the mix.
One of the guys I worked with had been a gym rat for years and invited me to work out with him in the mornings. So I started getting up at 6 AM and going to the gym before school. It sort of looked like this:
Now my entire schedule was basically filled and I didn’t even have time to eat or lay around if I wanted to.
He gave me the lessons about working out necessary that I still use (to a degree) today. Thanks, guy. (I don’t remember his name. Alex? White guy. You know who I’m talking about. The guy that was really influential in my life…. I’m an asshole.)
The first time you start to really put effort into losing weight, you will notice a dramatic drop in the first week. I think when I started I was something like 306, and it only took maybe five days to drop under 300. This is what they call “the water weight.”
Fuck you body for retaining so much water because:
- You’re making me weigh more than I actually do.
- You give me false hope when I drop you.
- I have to replace you with more water.
- How the hell did I get so much water weight? I never drank that shit! Maybe two trips to the fountain a day. How do you think I got fat? By drinking my two liters of Diet Coke a day, not water!
- No, I’m not that stupid.
Still, it felt nice to drop under 300 so quickly. Once I passed the threshold, I said “Goodbye 300!” when I was done with it. Sort of like what a guy says once he has seen the movie 300, because you know what they say about a guy that’s seen 300 more than once…
During this series, I’m going to go over some terms that I came up with on my own. Now, they may not be original and I don’t claim that I’m the first that ever came up with these ideas, but I’ve never read a diet book so I have no idea what others have said. All I know is, when you go through a personal struggle with weight loss you start to do certain things naturally. I think that others who have lost weight have probably done the same thing and I think they could also be helpful to people trying to lose weight.
I’ve always wanted to help someone lose weight, so this is my chance of getting into heaven. Because I’ll never follow the Ten Commandments.
When I was losing weight, I started to count everything in Decades.
Basically, I got under 300 and I said, “No more 300′s!”
Then I got under 290 and I said, “Fuck YOU 290′s!”
Then the same with 280′s and so on and so forth. I just set mini-goals of 10 pounds. That’s all I was focused on. Thinking about the big picture can be overwhelming but if all I do was say “I’ve got to get under 280, I’ve got to get under 280,” then I was setting a reasonable goal. And every day that I got closer to 279 was a victory. Then, when I did get into a new Decade, I said “Fuck off” to the previous level of weight.
True enough, sometimes you will get into a new decade and then find yourself back in the 280′s, but it’s not a setback. I always just told myself: “You were 279 yesterday. You didn’t do anything wrong between today and yesterday, so know that you are still on the right track.”
Now, this brings up another issue that some people have a problem with but I’m only going to touch on it briefly in Part II: Everyday Weigh-Ins.
For the majority of time that I am in the middle of losing weight, I weight myself every day. Other people tell you not to do this. I agree to disagree, or at least I say “Let me do what I want to do. Mind your own business. You are a skinny person.” (Skinny people have a lot of weight loss advice. I appreciate that you’re trying to help, but you’ve never gone through this.)
For me, it was motivation. Whether I gained a pound or lost a pound, I was motivated to do better that day. (I always weigh myself in the morning, when I’m most likely to be my lightest.)
So, I continued on my path of working out and eating right for the last six months of my senior year in high school. I imagined so many glorious things happening when I was finally in good shape: girls, girls, and most importantly, women.
I was down to just about 250 pounds. Hey, almost 60 pounds lost!
Then a funny thing happened: Nobody said anything at all.
I’ll never forget that one girl said “Hey, have you lost weight?” (I never know how to answer that question. I am too humble to say “Yes!” and yet I don’t want to say “No” or something like that because I worked so hard for it. I guess let the results speak for themselves.)
But one girl did kind of notice. She was just an acquaintance. Nobody “special” to me, but I guess you could say that I’ll never forget her because she was the one person to notice. So, I just continue down this path and things will continue to improve right?
Oh fuck, we just graduated. I was about a year late on this quest to lose weight.
I graduated and then sort of lost sight of everything. No more having to get up at 6 AM, because I didn’t have school anymore. No more being too busy to eat. No more girls to impress. (Well, it’s not like I never left the house or didn’t have friends or didn’t hang out with girls. But it’s different when you’re in that everyday school environment.)
If you can see where this is going, I was about to start the Yo-Yo effect that is typical of weight loss and people with a weight problem.
I took my first shot back at being fat. I tied the score up at 1-1. Fat was about to answer with another score of it’s own….