15 Qualities That Girls Look For In A Guy: An Examination of a List

April 17, 2012 § 7 Comments

I totally was NOT searching for “What do girls like in a guy?”  I didn’t do that.

I didn’t go to Google.com, the website, and make that exact search.  I did not turn on my computer, go to a web browser, search the World Wide Web, go to the Google.com website, and search that.  I just didn’t do it, okay?  So stop acting like I did!

Actually, I did all of those things.  In all honesty, I just needed a framework with which to write this article.  If you haven’t been able to tell by now, I am not just interested in internal thought and evaluation of a subject but I am more interested in finding out what others have to say about a subject and I am a tireless researcher.

Not me. This guy probably owns a guitar.

I was not that tireless this time.  I just made the search, clicked a couple of links, and found this article on lovepanky.com.  It’s a list of 15 qualities that girls like in guys.  It’s not a study, unfortunately, it’s an opinion, but it’s something to work with.  You don’t necessarily have to click that link because I am going to give you the framework right now.

Here is the list and here is my commentary:

1. Confidence

The constant #1 answer: Girls like confidence.  What exactly does that mean?  What is the difference between being confident and being cocky?  It’s like the age old question that only confident men can answer and is only sought by men without confidence.

If you’re not confident and you seek confidence, you’ll come off as cocky if you try to fake it.  You can’t just “Get confidence” you have to “Be confident.”  Just be confident.  Okay?  What, none of that advice helps?  Why?  Because it’s ambiguous as fuck?

Welcome to the constant conversation of “What is confidence” that timid men have with women that don’t want to sleep with them.

The dictionary definition of confidence:

  1. con·fi·dence/ˈkänfidəns/

    1. The feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust: “we had every confidence in the staff”.
    2. The state of feeling certain about the truth of something

Lots of important words in there: rely, trust, certain, truth, something, the.

A man with confidence feels a certain truth about his value to the world or in a given situation.  It’s the car salesman technique of saying “You want to buy this car.  This is the only car for you.  You need to buy this car.”  With the utmost confidence you tell a person that they can’t be without this car.

Now, that person might disagree, but one thing is for certain: It works a lot better than “You might want this car.  This is a car that might not be perfect but it will get you from A to B.  If you don’t buy this car though, other cars will come along.  I won’t be offended if you don’t buy this car.  This car will actually end up just being your friend.”

How you deliver the “pitch” is just as important as what you say, but we know that if you don’t believe in the product yourself, why should anyone else?  And that’s why you can’t just get confidence or fake confidence because you have to have a genuine belief in yourself so that other people believe that all of your other qualities are real.

Confidence is the foundation of your entire personality.

2. Sense of Humor

I actually don’t know much about this.  To the Google!

Webster’s describes “Sense of Humour” as:

“The trait of appreciating (and being able to express) the humorous; “she didn’t appreciate my humor”; “you can’t survive in the army without a sense of humor.”

So apparently, it has something to do with the military.  Women do seem to like a man in uniform and I guess I can understand what women would like a guy with a sense of humor, because they like army men.  But there aren’t that many army men, surely there has to be other definitions.

Wikipedia describes Humour as:

Humour or humor (see spelling differences) is the tendency of particular cognitive experiences to provoke laughter and provide amusement. “

Hmmm… Laugh-ter.  Ha-Ha?  Yes, Ha-Ha.  I think that perhaps my cognitive senses tell me that women like it when a man can make her also give an audible Ha-Ha.  Something that provides reason to “smile” or go “teehee” or “hehe.”

Perhaps a “joke” or an amusing anecdote.  I don’t know any jokes but I think I could probably borrow some from Abbott & Costello or perhaps The Smothers Brothers.

3. Intelligence

i dont thenk dis 1 impotent.  gotta be smart, go 2 class n shit.  lol.  i dont neva care if a girl hella smart tho, jus wanna see dem titties lmao.  4 real tho i am smart.  i needz a girl that can keep up, knows hiztory n shit. dont want some1 dat dont know simple grammer.

4. Support

None of the items on the list from “love panky” has any details that go behind it, but I’m sort of assuming that “support” just stands for an all-around “be there for me, don’t let me fall.”  You don’t have to be needy or dependent in order to want support, and sometimes people don’t realize that they need support, but we all like validation.

When you’re a kid it might be a drawing that your mom puts up on the fridge or someone to see you graduate from high school or college, but it’s when you achieve independence that you might need support the most.

When I do a drawing at work, especially when I am able to stay inside of the lines, it would be nice to know that my lady is going to put it up on the fridge.  When I eat all of my vegetables, it would be nice to have my lady say “Good Boy!”

In terms of being a guy though and providing support to MY lady, I know that she might need someone who is going to agree that Janice is a real bitch and say things like “Fat?  Honey, that dress makes me worried that you took ‘Hunger Games’ too literally.”

5. Sensitivity

It’s funny, I was just talking about what it means to be “sensitive” with the people I care for at the old folks home.  It was “Kitty and Puppy Day” and as I was playing pinochle with Gladys, I mentioned that I’d like to be a more sensitive guy.  We had a good cry session together, lasting about an hour as I wiped the tears from her wrinkled face, and I came to the conclusion that I could be more sensitive.

As I bicycled home (to save the environment) listening to Yanni on my iPod, I noticed a schoolbus full of children had just crashed into a rescued animals shelter.  I went over and carried the children out of the burning wreckage and then went back in to get the bunnies, puppies, ferrets, and hamsters as the flames burned my favorite sweater but as I nestled the final kitty in my tattered clothing (I named her Tinkerbell) I realized that I was kind of a sensitive guy, after all.


6. Self-Worth

If confidence is the foundation of your personality, if it’s the car salesman’s pitch, then self-worth is the car.  Self-worth is related to confidence in many ways, but it’s more tangible in what you’re selling.  When you’re selling the car and say “You need this car” then the person is going to inevitably ask “Why?”

“Why you, though?”

Self-worth is the engine, the body, the mileage, etc.  What are you doing with your life?  What makes you a “catch”?  What do you have that nobody else has?

Having confidence is great, but having false confidence is kind of what creates Jersey Shore douchebags.  You can’t just have sizzle, you have to have the steak.

7. Focused Goals

Related to Self-worth, having Goals in life is a major factor in attraction because it shows that you are always trying to improve and if a person is going to see themselves with you for the long term, then they want to know that you expect things to only get better.

You want to start your business?  You want to climb Mount Everest?  You want to set the world record for pounds of shrimp eaten in a single sitting?  Even Adam on Man v Food is going to be attractive to a number of women based on the fact that he has goals, even if they are disgusting food contest goals.

If you are 30 and living at home, that might not be a good sign but if you are 30 and living at home and you have a defined set of goals that will get you out of your mom’s house within six months, that’s better.

Having Goals also makes you come off as more confident, because if you truly believe in yourself and accomplishing goals, then you’ve clearly got some swagger.

I was treading water for most of my life, not knowing what I wanted to do with my life or really caring until I finally took a full dive into writing.  When I made that leap I realized that I didn’t make this decision to get girls, but when I made the decision and fully immersed myself into writing, I didn’t really care about “getting the girls” anymore.  It just became about the work and my passion for the work.

Quoting myself from about six months ago: “I have sex with words and make sentence babies, and that’s pretty cool.”

8. Great Imagination

I really wish this was the number one quality that girls looked for in a guy.  I’m now going to imagine a world in which it was.

Ahh.. that’s nice.

9. Independent Streak

I really don’t know what to make of this one but I can tell you this: I won’t be asking for help on trying to figure it out!

10. Passionate and Desirous

This can be related to either your Goals in life or just making the sex.

If a person isn’t passionate about anything, then do they care about nothing?  Most people won’t go out of their way to say that they want a person with money or a person that’s famous or a person that’s got a lot of power but most people agree that the qualities that they look for in a person are many qualities that are possessed by people with: Money, Fame, and Power.

A person that is intelligent, independent, has goals, and is passionate about his/her goals, will usually be successful.  Successful in life as well as love because they are the same qualities that get you the job of your dreams and the girl of your dreams.

More like succ-sex, amirite?

You’ve got to admire the rich and famous people that are still with the person that loved them before they were famous, and admire that person for seeing their potential and passion and supporting them throughout.

11. Bravery and Courage

I’ll fight anyone that doesn’t think this is an important quality in a guy.

12. Compassion

But I’ll forgive you for it and understand that maybe you weren’t raised that way.

13. Decisiveness

Or maybe I won’t.  I don’t know.  No, I will.  Unless you call me a jerk and then I won’t say that I’m sorry.  But if you give me candy and ice cream, I’ll be like “Yeah, you’re alright in my book.”  I think.

14. Dignity and Self-Respect

I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore.  What a stupid article this is.

15. Sense of Integrity

I’m just going to steal somebody else’s answers.

What qualities do you look for in a guy?  What is your top 5?  What do you look like naked?

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