Made-Up Stories From The Set Of The Movie Flatliners: Billy Baldwin Part 1

June 25, 2012 § 4 Comments

1989.

I’m cruising down Sunset in my magnificent cherry Corvette when I get a call on my car phone.  I don’t answer the first time.  Never answer a phone call on the first try, you’ll seem desperate.  Let them know you’re Billy Baldwin.

I hit a red light and look over to my left where I see three bodacious babes spotting me, they must recognize me from my Calvin Klein ads.  They’re tryin’ to figure out where it is they know me from.  I think I overhear one of them say, “Beetle Juice.”  Wrong Baldwin, bitch.  My phone rings again.  Now is the time to answer, total power move for the bodacious babes.

Billy: “Talk to me.”

Billy’s Agent: “Billy, it’s your agent, Lenny Mousekawitz.”

“Lenny, this better be good.  I’m meeting with Tommy Cruise to talk about Born on the Fourth of July and then he wants to talk to me about scienceology or something.  Apparently he is really into science.”

“Sounds great, Billy.  Really great.  Hey listen, things are really heating up for you, you’ll never guess who just called.”

“Spielberg.”

“No.”

“Scorsese.”

“No, this really isnt-”

“Coppola.”

“Billy, let me just tell you.”

“Kubrick and Baldwin make The Shining 2″

“Billy, it’s Joel Schumacher.”

“Who?”

“You know, Lost Boys and St. Elmos Fire.  Have you seen Cousins?”

“No, but is this Shoemaker trying to do like a sequel to that called Brothers with me and my brothers?”

“No, Cousins is starring Ted Danson.”

“Woah, this guy is working with Ted Danson?  The Ted Danson?”

“That’s right and he wants you for a co-starring role in his next suspenseful thriller about a group of medical students that intentionally stop their hearts so that they can cross over to the other side for a few minutes and then be brought back to life.”

“Sounds interesting.  You think this might be bigger than Beetlejuice because for the last six months whenever I talk to Alec it’s Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice.”

“This is gonna be big, kid.  They’re looking for nothing but up-and-coming stars for this flick and a group of people that’s gonna be just as big as all the other careers that Schumacher has launched this decade.”

“Yeah, like who?  And besides Danson, because we already knew Danson was one of the biggest stars in the world before that movie that you had mentioned before that I remember the name of.”

“Ever heard of The Corey’s?”

“Oh.”

“Andrew McCarthy?”

“Woah.”

“Jason Patric?”

“OH, WOAH.”

“Emilio Estevez, Judd Nelson, Ally Sheedy?”

“Okay, okay, you have convinced me and you can now stop.  These names that you are naming, these are the biggest names on the planet.  Thirty years from now, how many Oscars and collective billions of dollars will this group of actors and actresses have accumulated because as of today in 1989, you’ve just named the biggest stars of the future.”

“And you can join this list.”

“You are damn right I can.  Sign me up immediately Lenny.  I must do this movie.”

“Great kid, let’s get you in this picture.”

“By the way, what is the name of this movie?”

“Flatliners.”

To Be Continued….

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§ 4 Responses to Made-Up Stories From The Set Of The Movie Flatliners: Billy Baldwin Part 1

  • beck16 says:

    Excellent made-up lines!! Flatliners really creeped me out!!

    You’re artwork is definitely improving, by the way! :)

    • Thanks! I am having a lot of fun with the “art” right now.

    • Rygel says:

      Whoa, way to pull out a blast from the not-so-distant past there! I remember snieeg this on cable when I was younger and it caused many a sleepless night because of the shadowy cinematography. But I think you nailed the movie’s biggest flaw: the lack of any explanation about what happens to the characters when they flatline. In the case of Flatliners, it doesn’t feel so much that Schumacher’s trying to get us to do the work as it does that HE doesn’t want to do the work. That leaves a big, fat hole in the plot as far as I’m concerned.

  • [...] mind run all over the place and one of those places is in an imaginary world where I know exactly what happened behind the scenes of the movie Flatliners.  If you haven’t ever seen Flatliners, what are you waiting [...]

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