Twitter Account of the #FF: @UNTRESOR aka Brandon Guttermouth

July 13, 2012 § 1 Comment

It has been awhile since I have done one of these.  Frankly, I don’t really #FF much and maybe that’s why I never get the Follow Friday love in return because there is nothing to return.  However, I will always throw out a #FF every now and then when I think a Twitter account simply needs to be seen by more people.

Enter @UNTRESOR.  Seriously, I think he wants you to enter him.  If it’s even a him at all, I can’t be 100% sure on that.

In my older versions of this series I had highlighted some well-known people that were surprisingly hilarious such as Brandon McCarthy and Ken Jennings.  These were a couple of folks that you would never assume were funny (a baseball player and a Jeopardy contestant.  There is a famous Jeopardy contestant!!!) but they managed to string words together to make these things called “Jokes” and then in return of reading these jokes you end up laughing, or “Ha Ha-ing”.  It’s quite a fun activity.

Brandon Guttermouth is also good at this except I have no damn idea who he/she/it is.  I honestly don’t know if a bunch of people do and I’m just not in the loop, but a http://www.Google.com internet search for “Who is Brandon Guttermouth” only returned results of his http://www.Twitter.com haikus.

His picture doesn’t give it away either:

Oprah?

Anyways, who doesn’t like a little mystery?  We’ve all used public bathrooms, am I correct?  The heart of the matter is the funny tweets.  I have given a #FF to @UNTRESOR a couple of times before but maybe that’s not enough to convince you.  Instead, here are some of “its” best tweets in existence.  Enjoy!

UNTRESOR
just drank an entire bottle of soy sauce and now my farts can solve sudoku puzzles.
if you love something, let it go, if it comes back to you, it has really low self esteem and you should exploit that for sexual favor.
If you urinate in a pair of swim goggles and strap them to your face you won’t need Instagram anymore.
Is it ok to say “OWNED!” to black people?
.@RedLobster My colostomy bag explodes after only like five or six of your cheesy biscuits. I think you’re using too much yeast.
so seal’s face and forest whitaker’s eye walk into a bar and that’s it. that’s the joke.
Wow, that’s some gold right there folks.  And literally he does this successfully several times per day!  I loved the Instagram one so much that I actually EMAILED it to some friends and REGULAR MAILED one to my grandmother handwritten and sent through the US Postal Service!
I don’t know what an UNTRESOR even is, but just go follow it!  You won’t be disappointed! (Until that one day when everything disappoints you and you leave Twitter and partly blame him, me, and everyone else for not loving you enough which I totally get by the way.)
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