The Biggest Obstacle Between You and ‘Staying Fit’ is Denial
July 24, 2012 § 3 Comments
I did it again on Sunday. It wasn’t easy – it never is – but I did it. And it’s getting easier. Every time this happens, it gets a little easier. Years ago, I would have never done it. I would have pretended like I was fine and there was no point in pretending like it was that bad, so I didn’t do it. Because I knew if I had done it, if I had seen the truth, I would have to do something about it, and doing something about it is hard. It’s too hard. I’ve done it too many times before to not be aware of how badly I didn’t want to get into that situation again.
But on Sunday, I did it.
No, I’m not talking about watching The Killing, I’m talking about the biggest step any person who has struggled with their weight has to make. I stepped on that stupid, dumb, idiotic, truthful, brutally honest, bitch of a scale. I had to. I am too old, I’ve been through this too many times, to not know that I had to do it.
It hadn’t been that long since I weighed myself. If you’ve followed this blog, you’d know that I last did it when I lost almost 15 pounds in 15 days. But since that time, I haven’t stepped on a scale. I have put it in the back of my mind and gone back to living how I live. I don’t live very healthy.
It helps that I didn’t drink for a month. It helped a lot actually. But I did eat that month. I ate a lot actually. I ate healthy, in that you would have said, “Damn, you have a healthy appetite.” I ate well, in that you would have said, “Well, you’re going to get fat again.”
I didn’t stop going to the gym, but I sputtered in going to the gym. Like my 93 Volvo, I got there, but I didn’t get there fast and I didn’t get there consistently. My engine needed a lot of tweaking and so I put it out of commission for awhile. Maybe I’d go once a week, and twice a week was a miracle. But on Sunday, after a couple of months of ignoring my eating, ignoring my workout, I did what had to be done. I made that step.
It’s important to recognize that even if I had ignored my fitness for a couple of months, I used to ignore it for a couple of years. A couple of months of “damage” is easily fixable. Two to three years of damage is a road that’s so long, so arduous, that oftentimes it doesn’t feel like it’s even worth it. Having added only a handful of pounds, I laugh in the face of the journey ahead of me. I’ll be back to where I want to be in no time.
(Note to self: It’s still hard, and it’s not “no time” but I did what I had to do.)
If I had stepped on the scale during the college years, I would have never ballooned to 360+ pounds. I know this. I know that any time you have to face what you weigh, who you are, how much you’ve gained, it becomes too much to bear. Maybe you don’t want to start changing, but then “want” doesn’t matter. You have to do it.
At least for me personally, I always have to.
Now I step on the scale the moment I realize that it’s the last thing I want to do. You want to be in a position where you’re fine with stepping on a scale, maybe even excited, but it’s when you don’t want to that you know you need to.
I forced myself in a position where I knew I had to start eating healthier again and start going to the gym consistently again. I did what I had to do, and here we are. I’ve got a trip coming up in about two months that I’m more excited about than any trip before. I want to be a little bit more fit, so I took step one. The only step that I feel is necessary for everyone, and while it’s the easiest thing you’ll do over the next however-many-months, it’s the one with the biggest mental block.
Get over the mental block. Do what you have to do. If you’ve got any doubt or fears about doing it, then I implore you… go step on that scale. Today.
(Edit: I originally titled this as the biggest obstacle is ‘Doubt’ which does apply, but the word I really meant is ‘Denial.’ Being in denial of how much you’ve gained or the position you’re in, is the real obstacle.)