Going Camping: Some Last Notes In Case I Die!
August 8, 2012 § 8 Comments
This weekend I am going camping. I have not been camping very much in my life. I went maybe twice as a kid and then once in my early 20s and I would have hardly called that camping. It was more like an outdoor motel.
I am very inexperienced and the friends that I am going with are just about as experienced as I am. So I fully expect that it’s possible that I might not come back from this four day trip into the Sequoia National Forest. Bears, rivers, lakes, bees, Jason… there are so many dangers out there and I have basically no experience on how to handle any hardships that I might encounter out there.
Hell, out of the two times that I went camping as a kid, I almost got swept into a river once. Out of all my camping trips, I’m basically already running a 33% chance of nearly dying.
Just in case I do not return, I want to say a few things:
- We definitely didn’t need another Spiderman.
- Diet Coke just tastes better than regular Coke.
- I’ve never heard a Bob Dylan album, and I’m not ashamed about it. I couldn’t even name a Bob Dylan song, though I’m sure I’ve heard plenty.
- I’ll give Archer another chance but if you asked me tonight, I’d say it’s overrated.
- I mean, even if you DID have to reboot Spiderman, at least attach a notable director. You don’t know who directed The Amazing Spider-Man.
- I only floss the day of and the day after going to the dentist.
- Why do we like all these Olympic sports for two weeks out of four years and then not give a shit for the next 47 months?
- When you think you’ve got nothing left to eat in the entire house, that means you’ve actually got one really creative meal left.
- You have to admit that Tim Burton might just be an insane person that has no idea what he’s doing.
- You have to admit that David Lynch definitely does not know what he’s doing.
- Yeah – I’ve had days where I went to Jack in the Box for burger and then made a second stop at McDonalds for the fries. So what?
- I could have tried a lot harder at a lot of things but I never quit except for all of those times that I did, in fact, quit. There’s no lesson there.
- Morgan Freeman played God in Bruce Almighty and we should all be a little more curious about that because it actually makes perfect sense.
- I mean, he played a black president in Deep Impact and then whaddya know…
- I’ve been to like six concerts in my life and that’s plenty. Tell me ONE good thing about crowds.
- I have listed to “We Are Young” and “Somebody That I Used To Know” more times than some tweens. I’m not going to say “most” but definitely some.
- The first two books of The Hunger Games series are the first two books I’ve ready in a very long time.
- The third book in the series has been sitting in my room for a month.
- I’ve seen Sleepaway Camp 3 ten times.
- I’ve seen Citizen Kane once.
- I’m writing this while Big Brother is recording. For me. Cause I watch it. Every year. I think I could get past the first round of auditions if I actually submitted one.
- If you love someone, don’t let them go idiot. You think they’re going to come back? You think that girl came back to John Cusack in Say Anything?
- (I dont know, did she? I don’t remember the end of that movie. Except for the obvious part.)
- I love my nephew Jackson and my niece Delaney a lot and if I don’t return from camping, I really want them to have something to remember me by.
- But it won’t be this blog.
- My happy place is thinking about the Seahawks winning the Super Bowl. I literally am most at peace in this moment. You’d think it should be something that’s actually a lot more important like ending world hunger or poverty. Priorities, amirite?
- I probably would have hired, like, Wes Anderson to Spiderman. Now you could have rebooted it. That would have been awesome.
Wish me luck!
And wish Jason Voorhees bad luck.