How To Use The Doo Wop Woo To Win The Girl Of Your Dreams

May 22, 2012 § 1 Comment

There’s a whole new fad sweepin’ Kenneth Nation and it’s called Doo Wop Woo!  Basically, the crazy boys and girls of America are starting to serenade total strangers with Doo Wop songs that’ll blow their minds!

Far less invasive and over-used as a flash dance, a Doo Wop Woo simply contains 1-6 members, one of which has a saxophone, serenading a stranger in public with some of our favorite classics.  You don’t have to be Tom Cruise standing in a bar with men in uniform helping you woo a stranger in a bar in order to win a girl’s heart over.   You can just be a regular guy with a regular group of friends and dudes.

The Doo Wop Woo might just be the perfect way to get the girl of your dreams into your heart.  Or perhaps, immediately on the phone with 911.  Here’s just one example of The Doo Wop Woo.

Imagine….

A young girl is walking home from advanced biology at her University and soon realizes that the sun is no longer giving any reflection to light the streets, the trees, and the darkness beneath the trees.  Around every corner it seems to get even darker, as the campus lights have been need for repair all semester.

She clenches her books close to her chest and adjusts her eyeglasses and looks up and sees a dark figure.  He’s an African-American man, our heroine knew very little about the men her father called “the blackies.”  She was not afraid, nor was she startled.  For she was always a curious girl and if anything, this chance meeting on a dark street, late at night, got her a little bit excited.  Wondering what she might learn about the boys she was told never to talk to.

“Excuse me.  Are you lost?” she asked.

Then man didn’t say anything.  It was still very silent.  She could her heart beating so loud that she was sure that the mysterious man could hear it beating just the same.  She could only muster out an “Umm” when she noticed two other black men approached on either side of the first man of mystery.

There were now three dark, and tall men standing before her.  Still too dark under their fedora hates to decide if they were handsome as well.

Now the girl could no longer felt excited.  The excitement she once felt quickly turned to adrenaline and fear.  She realized her situation; all alone, midnight, empty campus, and three black men now basically have her surrounded.  What were their intentions?  Why are you here?  She then realized that she was only thinking the questions that she should be asking out loud.

“Umm… can I help you with something?  Why are you here?”

The mysterious man in the middle took one step closer and removed his hat, the moonlight hit his face and he was not scaring-looking at all.  He smiled, genuinely.  The girl felt calmer instantly, he had piercing blue eyes and a great big smile that made you feel you were right at home.

“Why are we where, child?” he finally spoke.

“Here.  In the middle of the street, way past dark, are you students hear?  I just mean why are you out here in the middle of street at night.”

“Ahhh yes.  I think, this will help explain.  A 1, 2, 1,2,3,4″

In the still, of the night

I held you, held you tight

‘Cause I love, love you so

Promise I’ll never let you go

In the still of the night

(In the still of the night)”

Stunned, the girl doesn’t know what to think.  Did this group that once frighten her all of a sudden turn into a Doo Wop group.  And not only a Doo Wop group, but a good one singing one of her favorite songs?  They continued to sing the unforgettable words as they snapped their fingers and kept in perfect rhythm and beat.

This was real R&B, right here, standing in front of her, in the middle of the night on an empty campus street.  A serenade to her and her alone, from three men she had never met before.  Why is this happening?  At this point, why does it matter?  All she knows is that she is blushing, flattered, and flustered, and all in a good way.

Tonight, it was only her.

So before the light

Hold me again, with all of your might

In the still of the night

In the stilllll of the niiiiiiiiiigghhhhhtt

And as quickly as they came out of the darkness, they went back into it.  They weren’t asking for anything in return.  Their reward was the gift.  To just maybe make one girl’s day.

Or perhaps make it really awkward and scary.  Hard to say without trying!

Doo Wop Woo Details

Song: In the Still of the Night

Artist: The Five Satins

Requirements: 3-5 black men, perhaps a saxophonist.

Subject: Young girl walking by herself.  Keep it in a safe neighborhood though, for fear that she might call 911 immediately upon seeing the first black man.

Potential Accessories: A spotlight is always handy when Doo Wop Wooing at night.  Make sure its battery-powered, you may not find an outlet in the middle of the street or on a college campus.

Message: No matter where you are, I’ll be there to hold you and keep you company.  You’re never alone.

Success Factor: Depends on racial tendencies of the subject.  For high success, target an African-American female.  Though in that case she might laugh in your face and say “Y’all are trippin’!”

Creep Factor: Moderately high, considering that it’s at night and this woman appears to be being accosted.  However, if the lead vocals is a very attractive man, creep factor is low as always.

Overall Rating: This scenario of In the Still of the Night gets an 8/10 for Doo Wop Woo, based on it’s overall use of scene, great song choice, uncreepy message, and it’s hard to not love it because then you might be called a racist if the girl was scared at first and then simply did not enjoy it.  She’ll still say, “Oh yeah, loved it! Thanks!”

 

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